When I am dead, and over me bright April
Shakes out her rain drenched hair,
Though you should lean above me broken hearted,
I shall not care.
For I shall have peace.
As leafy trees are peaceful when rain bends down the bough.
And I shall be more silent and cold hearted
Than you are now.

Can't sleep, can't sleep. I keep thinking of everything I want to do when I get back to work, how I want to try to make things a little more pleasant again. I honestly did not realise that things had gotten so awful amongst us, that everyone hated me and wished I'd go away.

I knew that I was not the same person that I was before Julian left. I thought that I was still functioning as normal, even though I knew I was sad.

Obviously not.

I just wish I could stop thinking of him. Everyone expects me to be over him, but he's only been gone ten days. How can I wipe out seven years in ten days?