Just before our love got lost,
You said, I am as constant as a northern star.
And I said, constantly in darkness
If you want me I'll be in the bar.

You are in my blood like holy wine,
And you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet.
And I could drink a case of you,
And still be on my feet.

I remember that time you told me
Love is touching souls.
Surely you touched mine
Because part of you pours out of me.
In these lines from time to time.

Such a good day. Spent it by myself, except for a few hours when I saw Reece. He brought me chocolate (as usual). Good boy :)

Belinda was in work the other day. If looks could kill... And I remembered that time, when she was determined to get her hands on Reece, and I was seeing him, and how much she interfered, and then I found out that she and him were seeing each other. Funny that she blamed me and I blamed her, when we probably should have been blaming Reece. Maybe he's grown up since then...

Still nothing from Julian. I agree with Sarah- I would have thought he'd have cracked by now too. And I had a moment today when I checked my emails and there was still nothing from him, and I thought oh my god what have I done. Then I remembered that it was for the best, and I was okay again.

I have to say I'm fairly impressed with how well I'm taking this. Even just a few weeks ago I couldn't imagine my life without him in it, and now he's gone and I was so rude to him there's no way he's coming back, and I don't feel a loss, not really. I've lost my soulmate and my best friend, and it doesn't hurt as much as I thought.

Well, maybe the losing my best friend bit hurts. There's noone else I would tell the things I told him. I told him so many secrets, things that had happened to me in the past, and he, like a true best friend, listened and threatened the sorry mongrels who had hurt me.

Who would have thought that he would end up being the sorriest mongrel of them all?